Early on in my marriage, I had a misconception of what being discreet meant. I was very discreet on the things I should have been speaking up about and when I was talking, I should have been being quiet. Throught that ordeal I lost who I was in the process while not having an understanding of what it truly meant to be discreet. I did not have a balance. In everything there must be a balance.
The defintion of discreet is careful and circumspect in one's speech or actions, especially to avoid causing offense or to gain an advantage. Modest.
As wives, we need to be careful in the things that we say and the things that we do. We have to be careful not to cause offense to others. As the men stated in the previous blog post, women need to learn the art of silence. I think we talk our way into half of our problems. This is what discreet means. Be slow to speak and quick to listen as scripture prompts us.
It's very easy to not humble ourselves to our husbands because we don't want to feel weak or like someone is trying to take on the role as our father. I had a very hard time early on in my marriage because I thought because he wasn't doing everything "right", who was he suppose to be that I had to humble myself? The thing that I did not realize is that the bible tells us that we must respect our husbands and what I was doing was total disrespect.
I played the "Gotcha" game a lot with my husband. He was always pointing out my faults and I would just sit back and wait for him to do the smallest thing and I would have the gotcha! attitude. The difference with him pointing my faults out and me pointing his out is that he would offer ways for me to change and be supportive. I was just out to basically crucify himm not realizing that instead of helping my husband, I was hurting him. I was operating off of emotions. We can't try to gain advantage and be one up on them. It is not a game. It's a partnership. We have to work together to make our marriage work better.
We always have to lift our husbands up. They want to know that we respect them and that we hold them in high regard. Whenever given the opportunity, praise your husband. Don't tear him down, lift him up. When we tear them down, the negativity only festers and evolves into something we eventually have no control over. Proverbs 14:1 tells us that every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands."
We also must be modest. I think more of what we wear and the things that we engage in. Everything we wear should be representative of our households. I love clothes, but I have to be very careful about what I put on before I walk out of the house because I'm not just me, I'm my husband's wife, my children's mother, a teacher, a woman of God and I have to dress the part. I have a rule: Whenever I have to second guess what I have on, take it off! Regardless of what it is, it has to be representative of your household. If a woman is walking around with everything revealed and hanging out, you can pretty much guess what her household is like. Am I saying you have to dress like your grandmother? No way, but we have to leave some things to the imagination. I know these things may seem small or petty, but it's the word of God and it's not there by accident!
With that said, we have to be especially mindful about our roles as women, as wives, and as mothers. We are examples. We are role models, whether we like it or not. So we have to set good examples for our children through our modeling.